Questions
by Flawed-Jade
Summary: Everyone feels lost sometimes. Everyone has their own questions that they want answered.
1. Ch. 1

Questions Ch. 1  
  
The title is "Questions"... Sorry I couldn't think of anything more original or catchy... but it kind of relates to my theme. I'll have each chapter end with a question.  
  
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***Josh/Max***  
I'm no Einstein. Yeah, I accepted that a long time ago. In fact I've got an English professor who has dedicated his life to reminding me of that fact everyday in any and every way possible. I can do pretty well as "Max Steel" the secret agent because... well, I guess improvisation is my element. My brain can dish out the desperate, last-minute ideas when I need to save the world. This brain's also doing a decent job of getting me through college (whenever I'm actually in class).  
  
But this brain can't do diddly in the love department, whether in Josh McGrath or Max Steel mode.  
  
I came to that painful realization when I caught myself trying to siphon love advice from an episode of "Batman: The Animated Series." I guess it's embarrassing enough just to admit that I've been taping every episode of the cartoon for the past month or so. But ever since this whole Max Steel thing started, it seemed like good old Bruce Wayne was the only guy understands what I'm going through.  
  
How do you deal with people not knowing that you're actually two different individuals? How are you supposed to handle all the different expectations for your different alter egos? What are you supposed to do when you need to be in two places at the same time? (Actually, I found the answer to this one in "Flintstones.")  
  
But I found myself desperately searching through these tapes for a different type of guidance and help after I received a call the other day.  
  
I recognized her voice as soon as I heard it. Laura and I were still on good terms after we broke up. But even after she left for the semester on the research ship, it took me a while before I stopped calling her my "girlfriend." I guess Josh McGrath wouldn't have been surprised to receive a call from her. Josh would have been thrilled. But "Josh" didn't get her call. It was "Max."  
  
It wasn't Josh to whom she told about her impending return to Del Oro. It was Max.  
  
It wasn't Josh who she asked to meet her at the docks. It was Max.  
  
It wasn't Josh who she asked to give her a ride back to her apartment. It was Max.  
  
It wasn't the ex-boyfriend and perpetual-good-friend that she asked to meet her upon her arrival home. It was the new friend and hero-who-once-saved-her-life.  
  
But... I *am* Max Steel! I AM! ughh... Josh McGrath equal Max Steel.  
  
I didn't tell her of course, but I remember spluttering something incoherently into the phone before coughing up my reply.  
  
"Alright, I'll be there waiting by 2."  
  
"Thanks, Max."  
  
I could practically hear her smile. It took me a few minutes, just sitting there, to absorb the reality of what just happened.  
  
Did this mean that Josh now officially had no chance of getting back with her? What am I supposed to expect? Should Max try and go for Laura's heart or step aside and let Josh slide back into the picture?  
  
Yeah, it's like playing a game of chess against myself, and strategizing behind my own back. Of course, it doesn't help the situation that I've never been any good at chess either.  
  
So, that was when I turned to my Batman cartoon tapes.  
  
Selena Kyles, alias Catwoman. You know the story right? Selena's friends with Bruce and in love with Batman. But Bruce is in love with Selena. All the elements for a relationship seem to be there, and yet somehow the love arrows are still missing their intended targets. So how did the Dark Knight deal with the woman that loves the Bat side of him and not the Bruce side of him?  
  
He arrested her... for burglary and whatnot. So he ended up taking the easy way out of the problem.  
  
But what am I supposed to do this Thursday when I see Laura again?  



	2. Ch. 2

Ch. 2  
  
Uhhh... slow chapter... incredibly slow, probably a bit boring, but it seems necessary to get some of this out of the way. The Steel-Leeds relationship mentioned here will be explained further later. (Have a feeling I'll be getting rotten tomatoes for this though.) Sorry about any egregious mistakes, but I ran out of patience to proofread.  
  
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***Josh/Max***  
  
I uncrossed my legs... crossed them... uncrossed them again... then I sat forward, leaning my arms on my knees.  
  
I looked out into the sparkling blue of Del Oro bay where the ivory white research ship had already been docked for about 15 minutes. The ship sat like a slumbering beast while a steady stream of students and researching scientists came waddling out with bags slung over shoulders, suitcases in hands, luggage rolling behind, and various articles tucked under an arm that couldn't hold anymore items.  
  
Laura was still nowhere in sight, and I was getting uneasy. I had originally wanted to bring someone with me to give me a little moral support. I asked Berto, but dad needed him at N-Tek to clean out some kink in the diagnostic system. There's Kat, my new partner. But when I asked her, she said something about seeing too much of my face at work already. Then she threw out some wisecrack about "not needing to know the personal problems of Turbo Boy." (I think I'm really growing on her.)  
  
Lastly there's Pete, who's a close friend of both Laura and me. He would seem the natural choice right? Wrong. Pete is only Josh's best friend. Max, which is who I am right now, isn't even supposed to know him.  
  
Boy, that gets really annoying. It freaks me out that I have to start thinking about myself in third person. And it's just plain frustrating to have to keep track of what/who each of my sides knows.  
  
I sighed to solitary myself, and leaned rearward against the back of the wooden bench until my face was tilted skyward, facing directly up. Still somewhat dazed by my situation, I tried to lose myself in the mesmerizing azure of the spring sky. The sea breeze tickled my nose as it gently brushed and whistled by.  
  
My hand took the small daisy that was sitting on my lap and held it up into the air. For lack of anything better to do, I focused my attention on the small flower, inspecting the white petals against the background of endless blueness that was directly above me.  
  
It's strange really. Every woman I tried to have a serious relationship with ends up running away from me. First Laura went off to the middle of the ocean. And after that, I turned to Rachel only to have her bolt off to Siberia. I must be losing the McGrath charm.  
  
"Max?" A voice buzzed in my ear.  
  
I continued staring at the daisy. I twirled the tender stem in my hand and amused myself with the way the overhead sunlight haloed the petals with a warm glow.  
  
"She's not there yet, I take it?" the voice said.  
  
"Nope," I answered, briefly, curtly. I try not to talk to Berto too much or too loudly when I'm in public. I've gotten strange looks before. And the scary thing is, I'm literally talking to the voice inside my head. (... voice, implanted Biolink... whatever...)  
  
"Max," Berto began, "You know the systems check is almost finished here. Do you still want me to go down there as soon as I am done?"  
  
***Berto***  
  
I looked into the monitor, watching his hand twiddle with the little white flower. His head was still leaning back, staring absent-mindedly at the sky.  
  
How long have I been watching his world through his eyes? About year, maybe not even that long, but it seems like I've known him forever now. And through our unique relationship, I feel like I'm almost as integrated into his system as the Max-probes themselves. Nearly everyday I spend my share of time behind the giant monitor, keeping tabs on his bio readings and watching his soap opera of a life.  
  
Some days are more eventful than others though.  
  
"Do you still want me to go down there as soon as I am done?" I asked him.  
  
The view on the monitor rocked from right to left. I could tell he was shaking his head.  
  
"Nah, it's okay bro," his voice muttered. "You won't make it in time anyway. She should be out here in 10 minutes tops."  
  
"Whatever you say."  
  
The truth is I didn't want to be there. And the N-Tek system failure that I was supposed to be fixing didn't exist. I had lied to him.  
  
I pushed my glasses up higher on the bridge of my nose.  
  
"Good luck anyway, hermano."  
  
I didn't lie to hurt him. Every time I call him "hermano" I mean it. He is like a brother to me. I left him to meet with Laura by himself because this really is his own battle. I admit I don't know much about women or romance at all, but I do know that this is not an N-Tek operation and teamwork has no place in this particular mission.  
  
Maybe that's part of why it didn't work out between him and Rachel. Assimilating work with romance, and forcibly fitting business roles into the personal roles... Simply put, it blew up. In the end Rachel requested a transfer to a division in Siberia. It was cold... in all meanings of the word.  
  
After me, I anticipated that the next person Max would ask to go to the docks with him was Kat. You don't look through the eyes (literally) of another man for so long without slipping into his brain. I was one step ahead of him, and convinced Kat of my position, persuading her to refuse also.  
  
Did I overstep my bounds here? Maybe... But isn't it time my judgment counted for something? I was the one to keep him alive during his transphasic transformation, and I've continually been the one he turns to for patching him up and reenergizing him after his rumbles and tumbles with terrorists. Like I said, he is my hermano, and I am his. I look out for him and I just happen think this is the best way for him to deal with this.  
  
"Hey Berto?"  
  
I startled from my momentary reverie. "Yeah Max?"  
  
In the monitor I saw his hand stop toying with the flower for the moment. "When she gets here, can you..."  
  
"No problem, I'll give you two privacy."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Berto?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What's going to happen?"  
  
I chuckled, "You mean you couldn't find the answer to your woman problems in the Batman cartoons?"  
  
"Hey! Don't make me start calling you Alfred." In the monitor, his hand gestured and pointed to emphasize his point.  
  
Pause again.  
  
"But Berto, seriously. What's going to happen when she steps off that boat?"  
  
I couldn't answer. As much time as I spend watching his entire world, I couldn't predict. As many times as I have saved his Max-probe-based body from crashing, I realized there are some things I can't fix for him.  
  
Adjusting my glasses, I cleared my throat. "Max, I have something I need to go take care of right now. Buena suerte."  
  
"Hey Berto. What's gonna..."  
  
The transmission trailed off in a buzz of static interference.  
  
Indeed.  
  
What is going to happen now?  



	3. Ch. 3

Ch. 3  
  
Ummm... I guess I'm extrapolating and taking some liberties with Laura's character here, but we don't get too much insight into her thoughts on the show. I don't mean to make her seem weak here but it seemed to be the only way to protray her emotionally.  
  
***Max***  
I knew she was coming my way without even taking my gaze from the sky. My head was still leaned back and facing the heavens when I recognized the sound of her footsteps. My Max-probes-enhanced hearing managed to sort out most of the ambient noise in the setting, stripping away, layer by layer, the extraneous sounds. First it filtered out the tumbling of the restless sea waves, then the screeching sea gulls, then the voices of the other passengers. That left a clattering, pattering mess of footsteps in my ear, but it didn't take me long to single out the sound of her steps.  
  
To me, her footfall is distinctive and easily recognizable. Those steps were at an unhurried, but not sluggish, pace, in fluid and confident strides. She never planted her heels down too abruptly.  
  
I judged her to be about 50 yards away now and closing in, heading in my direction.  
  
I didn't move a muscle, and couldn't bring myself to look up. Hesitation materialized in my head, and swarmed in a dizzying miasma of doubts.  
  
Maybe I have enough time to switch on my Bio-link, go into Turbo mode, and then just turn in the opposite direction and run away from her for dear life.  
  
Or maybe I can switch on my Stealth mode, disappear before her eyes and just slink away undetected.  
  
Dang, her footsteps were getting closer. If I'm going to do anything...  
  
"Max? Is that you?"  
  
Too late...  
  
I sat up finally, and caught a good look at her...  
  
The realization hit me that she was laughing. "I'm sorry Max, were you expecting a different Laura Chen?"  
  
"No," I cleared my throat. "It's just... You let your hair grow out."  
  
Indeed she had, and that's what floored me. Laura has had that tomboyish bob haircut for as long as I can remember, and I never expected it to be any other way. Now her black hair draped over her shoulders and framed her smiling face.  
  
Remembering the daisy in my hand, I held it up to her, then reached out and tucked in her hair. I know I'm usually pretty dense about this stuff, but she looked nice.  
  
During the drive back I wondered about it. It seemed to be Laura; she was laughing and joking like she had always done with Josh. Yet it didn't seem like Laura; the long hair gave her a deceptively demure appearance; the Laura Josh had known had never possessed the attribute of being either deceptive or demure.  
  
It truly was a small change. Her personality still seemed very much unaltered. It was just her hair. But for some reason it never crossed my mind that Laura could ever be more than what she has always been.  
  
Seeing her change... I guess the only thing I can compare it to is the time I found out that I could use the waffle iron to dry my washed socks when I'm in a hurry. Okay, so I'm no good with analogies, but it makes sense to me. What I'm emphasizing is the realization of the could-be, would-be, has-been, will-be, and might-be both of Laura and the waffle iron. (Just as a note, Pete was not happy when he found about it. He now staunchly refuses to eat breakfast at my place, period. Hmm... more waffles for me.)  
  
"So what have you been up to for the last 4 month?" I hardly noticed when she threw the question my way. "Have you entered the DOX again?"  
  
I shook my head while switching on the signal to change lanes. "Nah. I got swamped with work during the last tournament. I heard Josh entered the team events with Tony Hawk though."  
  
I checked for a reaction.  
  
"Cool." Concise and precise.  
  
She reached over and switched the radio, fiddling with the dial until she found a song that suited her taste.  
  
Without really realizing what I was doing, my hand found the radio knob and clicked the song off in a mid-guitar wail.  
  
She looked surprise.  
  
"Laura, why did you call me up?"  
  
Now she looked even more surprised. I guess it wasn't fair for me to just ambush her with such a question. But the relationship battlefield is the one place I'm most handicapped. Maybe I need this element of surprise to even up the odds when I'm facing off with her.  
  
I suppose it's also unfair that now both Josh and Max have teamed up to seek answers from her. And she still has no clue.  
  
***Laura***  
You don't truly appreciate how much water there is on the planet until you are really at sea in the boundless stretch of waves. And on clear days when the sky was perfectly cloudless and the oceans where perfectly calm, you can almost feel the blue heavens above and the blue waters below envelope you. I won't be dramatic and say that I reached enlightenment or anything on those moments. Quite honestly, the tranquility scared me. I could feel the absolute stillness crushing my senses. There were times when all I yearned for was to have a jet ski to break through the mirror-like surface.  
  
Then it occurs to me. Didn't I run away from Del Oro to get this peace? Yes... well, no...  
  
I mean... I didn't run away. I was genuinely interested in this project and the chance to engage in biochemical research with Professor Turner. But it was an added bonus to be able to take a breather from all the drama that had dropped into my life.  
  
The goal was to do a little emotional housecleaning, to clear out some of the old feelings and scatter them to the sea. Only when I did clear them out, I didn't experience the catharsis I wanted. I just felt empty. It wasn't peace. It was void.  
  
Similarly, I thought I would enjoy the calm seawaters. But who am I kidding? I just wanted a tidal wave to tumble over me and wash me out to sea.   
  
The answers I thought I had just disintegrated right before my eyes. All I knew was I wasn't ready to go back to Del Oro. I had nothing inside of me expect a huge question mark. I was emotionally vulnerable and volatile. I didn't want to get hurt when I came back and I certainly didn't want to hurt anyone else. I just wanted some neutral element to greet me when I returned.  
  
"Why did you call me up?"  
  
Four and a half months of deliberation came back to me all at one moment. And I just stared at Max.  
  
"Don't get me wrong Laura. I just thought things were cool between you and Josh again."  
  
"Max, I asked you because I thought you would be the only one wouldn't ask me any questions."  
  
There was a strained silence between us for a moment.  
  
"I'm not ready to see Josh yet. And if I called him, it would just look like I'm assuming something about us. I'll just look needy."  
  
I saw his expression relax gently.  
  
"And most of my other friends are good friends with Josh too. They'd probably feel obligated to tell him I was coming back if they knew."  
  
"So you're just going to hide from them until..."  
  
"I'm not hiding, Max." I irritably plucked out the daisy in my hair, seizing it in my hand like a prisoner. "I don't run and I don't hide."  
  
We exchanged a glance, and then he nodded apologetically.  
  
"I called you because I wanted some distance from Josh. I think you're the only one I've never seen him hang out with."  
  
A strange expression darted across his face, but then it vanished.  
  
"Josh would have questions. They would all have questions." I plucked at the daisy. "But I don't have any answers Max, not even for myself."  
  
Maybe he understood, because he soon changed the subject and left the matter alone for the rest of the ride. And again I felt in my element. We were smiling, talking, and leaving my worries behind. I was grateful to him for that, for allowing me to forget.  
  
We soon reached Del Oro University campus. When the drive was over, I hopped out of the convertible and hauled my bags out from the trunk.  
  
"Need some help?"  
  
I smiled and shook my head. "I'm a big girl." I swung the knapsack over my shoulder and reached for the oversized sports bag. "My dorm is just right behind the Creamery."  
  
"Are you going to need a ride anywhere?"  
  
"I'm going to try to get my motorcycle out from campus storage today. So I've got my wheels." I waved goodbye to him. "Thanks a lot, Max."  
  
"Hey Laura."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Sorry about earlier. If it makes if feel any better, I won't tell anyone else you're back."  
  
He was sincere. I appreciated that.  
  
Then he leaned over the passenger seat and reached over the door, handing me the daisy again. "You forgot this."  
  
I smiled, and stepped closer to the car, then leaned my head closer, allowing him to tuck the flower back in my hair.  
  
"Take care of yourself kiddo."  
  
We parted ways then. He drove off, speeding down the street, and I walked off across the familiar campus grounds, hauling my baggage with me.  
  
I still didn't have any answers. But at least I didn't have any questions either. What I did have was a smile on my face, and a flower in my hair.  
  
Isn't that enough for now?  
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end of chapter... btw - that wasn't meant to be a romantic thing between the two. 


	4. Ch. 4

Questions Ch. 4  
  
Thanks a lot to every one for their feedback. I especially appreciate Aisy's honesty, but I feel like I should share my standpoint here too. I respect Laura's character and personally see no reason to dislike her. It seemed like she was an independent and capable girl who was placed in a situation that she couldn't control. I respect Rachel in a different way and also interpret her personality differently. But that's just my opinion and everyone has their own. And also the Batman references... they're not really the crux of the story and I was planning on just using them sparingly for emphasis and effect. (but it's nice to know you've taken a liking to them ^_^ )  
  
Additional note. Rachel's part is coming up. But the story is not quite ready for her right now.  
  
***Max***  
  
"Yeeeehaawwww!" I whooped out of the sheer exhilaration of the moment.  
  
The tires screamed and tore through the sandy ground, raising a cloud of dust with the flamboyance that a party magician might be capable of while raising curtains for his grand finale.  
  
Fitting, since this seems to be the grand finale of my mission.  
  
The scope of my vision focused in on my target. Psycho was no more than half a mile away, trying to board the helicopter with the power core in his hands. It's just like him to run with the loot after he loses a fight.  
  
"Max?" Berto sounded panicked over the Bio-link.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. The Crystalline power core. I've got it in my sights." I replied hastily as I gunned the accelerator on the Shadow, pushing the blue convertible up one gear, and creating a small-scale sand storm around it and about me. That action rewarded me with a mouthful of Libyan Desert sand. Smiley is not escaping that easily.  
  
Suddenly an explosion from the government compound behind me overshadowed the roar of the Shadow's engine. I didn't look back.  
  
"Berto?"  
  
"Kat's okay. She got out."  
  
That a girl. I can always count on her to take care of herself.  
  
"Berto, what about the..."  
  
"All hostages are safe and accounted for. Kat just did a head count."  
  
Can always count on her to take care of others too.  
  
I gritted my teeth together when I saw the chopper take off in the distance. Standing on the landing gear and leaning outward was Psycho, with the blue, glinting power core in his metal left hand and a maniacal smirk on his metal plate of a face. You are NOT getting away with that core.  
  
"No way you can catch that flight by now, hermano."  
  
"Yes, Berto," I snapped. "I realize I can't jump 90 feet into the air! Can you get the Hawk jet here fast enough?"  
  
"Not enough time."  
  
This was one of those moments where desperation and long hours of studying Batmanism joined efforts. The offspring: an idea.  
  
I judged my horizontal distance from chopper's position in the air.  
  
"Close enough."  
  
"Huh? Max, close enough for what?"  
  
My foot smashed into the brakes and the Shadow swerved to a halt amidst a gritty swirl of grit and sand. I hopped out of the car.  
  
"Max? What are you doing?"  
  
Through the Bio-link I could hear Berto screaming himself into a conniption as I tore out the hubcap from one of Shadow's wheels. I checked round the titanium disk in my hand. It'll have to do.  
  
"Max! Those car parts were custom-made! They're hard to..."  
  
Needless to say, I ignored Berto. "Going Turbo!" The familiar surge of transphasik power flowed through my limbs when I kicked it into high gear.  
  
I cocked my arm back, took two side steps to minimize inertia, and then hurled the hubcap at my target much in the fashion of a discus thrower. Enough torque was imparted on it to send the edge spinning like a saw disk.  
  
"Max, if that core shatters..."  
  
"I know," I replied as I made a mad dash toward the ground underneath the chopper. "It breaks, I fry. So better not let it break."  
  
The hubcap flew fast enough, flew hard enough, and flew true to my aim. Its titanium edge sliced through Psycho's left arm, severing the weaker metal right at his wrist. He was too surprised to catch it with his organic hand and the power core simply plummeted toward the ground.  
  
It dropped safely into my arms, with Psycho's metal hand still clutching it. An added bonus. I couldn't reframe from snickering while I pried the hand off.  
  
"You missing something?" I yelled up at him.  
  
Sharp shouts and furious gestures came from the figure in the helicopter in the sky. "Steel! You idiot!!"  
  
Yeah, Psycho's really ticked off this time. Maybe this will motivate him to fight harder next time.  
  
"And Steel makes the catch," I announced in a sports caster's voice. "Amazing catch!!! Ladies and gentleman, let's give Steel a HAND!" I cupped my hands like a megaphone and mimicked a cheering crowd.  
  
Then I swayed into the rhythmic steps of my victory dance, feeling more than a little pleased with the little souvenir I took.  
  
While Psycho was still at a distance to clearly see me, I waved bye bye to him.  
  
I waved to him using his own hand.  
  
  
***Berto***  
  
I shuffled over to the side control panel and set the Hawk jet on autopilot to bring Max and Kat home. When I turned the swivel chair back toward the monitor, I sighed in exasperation.  
  
"You're a sick man, Steel."  
  
I can't believe he was still waving that metal hand around.  
  
"Berto's right," I heard Kat's voice over the Bio-link.  
  
"Awww, come on," Max quipped, "you're just jealous because you didn't get to do it first."  
  
Kat was silent for a moment, then let slip her piqued interest with a chuckle. "Can I get a closer look at that?"  
  
Max tossed her the hand. "Just be careful with it. I think I have a good place for it in my dorm room..."  
  
I shut down the Bio-link. They're not the two most mature agents at N-Tek - no one dare try to dispute that - but they get the job done and get it done well. (Even when it involves disfiguring the custom-designed Shadow. To think Marshak just touched up the paint job before the mission.) But I admit, I even enjoy their antics every now and then. Hey, I'm stuck doing behind-the-monitor work all day, I take any sort of entertainment I can get.  
  
When I turned around, I saw Jefferson Smith standing there with a case folder in hand. A visit from the boss usually meant another new assignment.  
  
"Sir, Max and Kat are on their way back to headquarters."  
  
He nodded. "Successful?"  
  
"Yes, they've retrieved the Crystalline power core."  
  
"Have it sent over to Yoshenko's lab for analysis before returning it to D.C. I want to make sure core's still stable."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
I watched him pull out one of the swivel chair and sit down wearily.  
  
There is no one else in N-Tek that I admire more. Jeff puts up with a lot. Just having survived being Josh's stepfather for 15 years is achievement enough.  
  
He also keeps N-Tek running like a well-oiled machine. And in this machine, Max Steel might be the shiny gear that glimmers and catches most of the attention, but Jeff is the fuel that courses through the engine, burning himself out just to maintain his ideals.  
  
Surprisingly, he doesn't have a single gray hair to show for all his stress and anxiety. Jeff maintained his calm, collected self when his adopted son insisted on becoming an agent, and even when one of his most trusted friends proved to be an infiltrator for John Dread.  
  
As he sat in the chair facing me, I realized he looked tired. Not defeat, just fatigued. Seems like he's seen too much of the underground world and he's spent too much energy fighting it.  
  
"Berto," he handed me the folder in his hand. "I apologize for the short notice, but Vitriol's been on the move lately."  
  
"Vitriol?" I thumbed the edge of the manila folder before flipping the cover open.  
  
"I'd like Team Steel to pick up his trail and bring him in. Right now he's quite active in..."  
  
"Russia?" I finished the sentence when I spotted the map in the folder. Vitriol's plotted movements showed him hopping from the more commercialized Western area into the central region of Siberia.  
  
My stomach tied into a knot as the realization came to me.  
  
Siberia.  
  
"So we'll be working with N-Tek agents stationed at Novosibirsk?" I asked.  
  
"Yes," Jeff replied and got to his feet. "They were the division that requested aid from a backup team. I'll need to contact them about your departure."  
  
"No sir," I voiced before he could turn to leave. Once I got his attention, I found difficulty trying to say what I need to say. "Sir, I don't think this task is very well suited for Team Steel."  
  
He fixed a look of scrutiny on me. "Dr. Martinez," he asked candidly, "are you declining this mission?"  
  
I couldn't read his reaction from his face.  
  
"Sir, all I mean to say is..."  
  
"Does this have to do with Rachel Leed's presence at Novosibirsk?" The man looked down at me. Well, he just sank my boat with that question. "This seems very unprofessional of you, Berto."  
  
"With all due respect sir. There *will* be tension and trouble if Max and Rachel have to work together at this point. I submit that it would jeopardize N-Tek operation."  
  
I stood my ground as he reconsidered. Okay, so I got caught interfering with Max's life again. However, this is a bad time for Max to have to deal with Rachel. With Laura suddenly back in town, things are complicated enough already. It wouldn't be fair to Rachel either if she had to get tangled up with the situation now. Maybe in another two months things would be resolved, but until then I'm only looking out for my hermano when I try to keep them apart.  
  
Jefferson gestured for the file in my hands. I handed it to him.  
  
"Berto, I usually frown on this. But I've taken your argument into consideration. I'll have this case reassigned."  
  
Then he left.  
  
I sat in the silent lab for a moment, then rolled my chair over to the controls and switched on the Bio-link.  
  
In the monitor, I saw Max trying to manipulate the fingers of the metal hand, attempting to make it appear to dance.  
  
"Dada-da-dun, dada-da-dun. Dada-da-dun-dada-da-dun." he sang to the tune of Adam's Family. In the background, I recognized Kat was providing the accompanying percussion part of snapping her fingers. "Look," Max chuckled, "It's that walking hand thing from the Adam's Family!"  
  
He's having way too much fun with this.  
  
I sighed and turned the monitor off.  
  
Max is older than me. We are both aware of that. But our roles seem to be reversed. He's the wild and crazy one. I'm the one who watches over him and tries to take care of him.  
  
So yeah, I make decision calls on his behalf sometimes. But I don't do it for my health; I do it for his.  
  
I guess he's my hermanito.  
  
***Jefferson Smith***  
  
Can you be the head of an international anti-terrorist organization and command a wide network of secret agents all across the globe, but still have no idea what is going on in your own son's life?  
  
Yes. Yes. Most regrettably, yes.  
  
I would not say Josh and I were ever terribly close. By the time his father passed away and I adopted him as my own, he was old enough to be fairly independent from me.  
  
Granted, he was only 4, but Josh's self-willed and self-governing streak started early and still shows no sign of wearing off. And as much as it injured my pride to admit it, he did not really seem to need me as a father figure.  
  
He never came to me with his problems. He never asked me to help him with his difficulties. He never sought my wisdom on his dilemmas.  
  
I watched him grow, proud at his progress, but pained by his distance from me.  
  
Josh has always respected me though, even through his most belligerent teenage years. And now our relationship is largely employer-employee based.  
  
Like I said, Josh doesn't tell me much about his life or his relationships. I was one of the last ones to find out about his break up with Laura. It was a shock. The last time I saw them together, they looked very happy. It was another surprise when Rachel Leeds marched into my office and demanded a transfer from Team Steel. As you would have it, I didn't find out the relationship strife between Josh and her until three weeks later.  
  
At some level, I am grateful to Berto for reminding me of the history between the two. Very frankly, the facts either slipped my mind or I simply didn't perceive it as a problem.  
  
My son... He's much closer to Berto than he is to me. I suppose I can be glad that there is someone I can refer to if I ever needed to know anything about Josh. Berto is a good boy.  
  
I truly do view Josh as my son.  
  
I am right here for you, Josh. I am ready to learn more about you.  
  
When will you realize that I am just waiting for you to turn to me?  



	5. Ch. 5

Disclaimer: Max Steel is property of Sony, Tristar, and Mattel, none of which I am affiliated with. But if they want me to work for them, I'm eager and willing.

Ch. 5

Hehe... don't know what it is with me, but lately I've kinda had a thing lately for sticking various characters with the color pink. (See my Batman Beyond fic for the other example.)

***Laura***  
I don't like pink. Never have, and doubt I ever will.

"Don't you have this in another color?"

I don't have any pink pens. I don't drink pink lemonade.

"Any other color? It doesn't even have to match my helmet. I just need a _different_ color." 

I don't wear pink. 

The salesman still shook his head apologetically. 

And I am certainly not about to parade around in a pink rain-jacket. No matter how hard it's raining outside. 

I looked at the specimen distastefully before shaking my head. A few drops of rainwater splattered from the damp edges of my hair. 

"No thank you," I told him sheepishly. 

After I grabbed my motorcycle helmet from the counter where I had set it earlier, I headed out of the department store. I noticed the cushioning inside the helmet was still damp under my fingertips. 

Great. 

It was just my luck to get caught in the storm like that. One minute the sun is shining in my eyes as I jetted through the roads on my motorcycle. The next minute, storm clouds coalesced in the blink of an eye and poured down volleys of rain like they were pent-up, tearful laments of decades of suffering. 

I still thought I could make it back to the University in the rain. I was wrong, so incredibly wrong. Within 2 minutes, the rain drenched me from head to toe, and I was forced to duck into the South Dale mall for refuge. 

You know the funny thing about this? Not funny as in "haha," but funny as in "the universe is trying to screw with me." It happens that I was just going home after a visit to my mechanic at Young's auto-shop. So basically I just spent 3 hours of my time and $60 of my money on a bike tune-up, only to rediscover the disadvantage of owning a motorcycle. (I wouldn't be surprised if it was a corollary of Murphy's Law.) 

Well, staying stranded at the mall was not an option. I needed to get home quickly. So, with just short of $20 cash in my pocket, I headed to a department store in search for some sort of a hooded, waterproof jacket that might get me through the rain. As it turned out, there was only one brand of jacket within my price limit. And of that style there was only the color pink. 

I don't wear pink. 

Now, I looked out the giant panel window as the torrential storm continued. I suddenly became irritably aware of my lack of comfort in the damp clothing. Wet hairs had also plastered themselves to the back of my neck in an almost parasitic manner. I should really just crop it off to the length I had before. Long hair is really getting irritating. 

Just then, a click sounded from PA system overhead followed by a woman's voice that projected an announcement over the hubbub of the shoppers around me. 

"Attention, will the owner of a blue Yamaha YZF-R1 motorcycle please report to the parking lot? I repeat: a blue Yamaha YZF-R1 with license plate TG7S7. You left your headlights on." 

"Oh no..." I groaned and sank against the glass panel. With my luck, the battery will die out and it won't matter whether the rain lets out or not, because I won't get out of here either way. 

I rushed out into the rain, flinching as the cold droplets pelted against my skin. During my mad dash toward the south end of the lot, I wondered about something. If I left my headlights on, how could anyone possibly have noticed? I know I snapped the canvas cover over the motorcycle after I parked it. It's something I never forget to do when it rains, because I take meticulous care of that bike. 

And if someone did indeed know the headlights were on, they would have had to entirely unfasten the canvas cover to get the model number and the license plate number. 

But suddenly it made sense... 

I stopped cold. 

I stopped because I saw him there, leaning nonchalantly against the side of my bike, one hand supporting an umbrella over his head, and the other resting on the black canvas material that hooded the vehicle beside him. 

He offered me a smile, white teeth flashing, lips arching into a curve, and blue eyes squinting up at the corners. "Hey, Brown Eyes." 

Somehow he didn't seem as surprised to see me as I was to see him. Acting as if he had already greeted me upon my arrival back at del Oro. In some strange way, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that it was not too far from the truth. 

"You didn't really leave your headlight on," he patted the bike seat. "I just..." He trailed off. He knows that I know. He just need to lure me out of hiding from him. 

"How are you, Josh?" I asked weakly, smiling the best I could. A shiver ran up my spine and I was reminded of the rain that had not ceased its perpetual bombardment against me. 

He noticed and walked toward me with the umbrella. I compensated for it by taking a few steps back. He noticed that too, and the smile faded from his face as his steps also halted. 

"It's good to see you again," I smiled. It was. It truly was. The feelings I thought I had gotten rid of for him were reemerging. I realized that I have missed him so very much, and it made me question why I have all these questions. Questions about him, about the truth, and about why he couldn't ever give me the truth. And it also made me wonder if it really mattered. There were moments when I found myself wishing I could stop looking for the true or the false in what he tells me, and simply allow myself to slip back to him. Those moments never last though. 

I need the truth from him, and I need the concomitant respect. I refuse to be treated like a child that can be pacified by sweet illusions and mere comfort. Whatever the truth was, he never gave it to me. Whenever he dashed off at inopportune times, he just left me to sift through his deluge of excuses and lies. All the lies, and all the stories that he feed me over a period of a year merged together and became the cleaver that severed our ties. 

Now there he was. Standing quite motionless, with the umbrella extended slightly forward, offering me a shelter from the rain. 

I didn't go to him. I stayed shivering in the rain and in the cold. 

What is he presenting me with? The spot by his side. What else? Respect and truth? Or just smiles and lies? What are you still hiding from me Josh McGrath? 

***Josh***  
I wanted to see her. It's as simple as that. Simple and yet so complicated. 

After the thrill of a victorious mission wears off, after the adrenaline rush dwindles down, after the sky-high ecstasy ebbs to nothing, I am simply lonely. I am not Max anymore, I am Josh. And I need company. 

First, I called Pete. He was out and I merely got his absurd reply on the machine. 

"This is Pete.  
I'm not here.  
To repeat,  
I'm out there.

"Leave your voice,  
Talk and yak,  
Then rejoice,  
'Cause I'll be back!"

It was followed by a shrill electronic beep. 

"Hey, Josh here. I've got nothing to do tonight. Wanna catch a movie or go clubbing with the guys? Just call me back." 

Pause. 

"For goodness sakes Pete, GET RID of that stupid message!" 

I was still alone. 

I still wanted to see her again. Not as Max Steel, but as Josh McGrath. The one who had grown up with her and been her first love and first heartbreak. But like I said, things are still complicated. I wasn't even supposed to know that she was home. 

In the end I went out for a drive to clear my head. And what do you know? I saw her, across the street, hastily shoving past a set of the double glass doors and shouldering her way into the mall for shelter from the rain. 

At that moment I realized that we were almost playing a hide and seek game. And now that Josh McGrath had officially spotted her, he can confront her. 

I didn't follow to find her. Instead, I found where she parked her bike and after a cell phone call to the mall's announcement office, just waited for her to come to me. 

Now there she was. Standing drenched in the rain downpour, with hair matted to her skin from the wetness. She looked more forlorn than any image could possibly hope to look. 

And she wouldn't let me get close to her. Was it pride? Was it suspicion? Was it stubbornness? Or was she afraid to need me again? But would that be so bad? I could see it in her eyes. She missed what we had, probably as much as I missed it myself. 

"It's good to see you again," she said. 

Was it? Why, then, didn't she want to see me sooner? 

She was right when she told Max that I would have questions for her. I did. Lots of them. But now was not the time, and she wasn't ready for them. 

"You'll catch a cold," I gently chided her and gestured for her to step under my umbrella. I didn't try walking up to her again because she would probably just back away again. 

"No, it's okay." She fumbled a little with the helmet in her hand before putting it on and fastening the clasp under her chin. "I was just about to leave anyway." 

Sidestepping me to her bike, she unfastened the black tarpaulin cover, quickly shook off the water, then folded up the sheet of fabric and stuffed it into the storage compartment under the passenger seat. 

"My car's parked over there," I nodded over my shoulder. "I can drive you home, Laura." 

"I'll be fine," she smiled faintly as she swung a leg over the seat and straddled the bike. "Thanks for the offer though." 

I was somewhat frustrated with her reactions. I can only reach my hand out so far for you, Laura. Can't you just accept something, anything, that I'm offering you? 

Her right foot kicked out the leaning support, and she gripped the throttle. Just when it seemed like she was ready to leave, she paused and reached out a hand to me, touching her palm gently to my chest, right over my heart. 

Her expression seemed faraway and poignant. "I miss you Josh." 

It caught me off guard. "I missed you too Laura." 

She turned and just shook her head with disappointment. "No. I _miss_ you, now." 

"But Laura, I'm right here." But even I knew that wasn't entirely true. I understood what she meant. She thinks I'm hiding the truth, that I'm still hiding a part of myself. She's right. The Max Steel side of me is always concealed in the back of my mind when I'm around her and so Josh McGrath is never with her a hundred percent anymore. 

The rain that hit her face, slid off in paths that traced over the contours of her face. She almost looked like she was crying. But Laura does not cry. 

"I'll call you later?" 

She nodded wordlessly. 

And as she rode off, I was left with was the subsiding roar of the engine in my ears. 

I miss myself too, Laura. Sometimes, I miss myself too. 

***Rachel***  
There are days when nothing is easy, and every minute is just one fight to get to the next fight. 

The harsh wind tore at my short, blonde hair, and the whirred deafeningly in my ears as I attempted to steer the tiny motorboat still closer to the larger vessel without losing any speed. 

"Spyeshka! Hurry Rachel." Then a string of rushed Russian syllables tumbled out of his mouth. "On udiraty." 

"Ivan," I shot my partner a harsh look, "Tishina vniz, and restrain yourself." I do not always understand every word out of his mouth, but I caught the general gist of his panicked gibberish. In this situation his attitude was both irksome and unhelpful. "I'm going as fast as I can." 

We had to get Vitriol. If we don't apprehend him here, he could very easily slip out of the country. Then it would be 2 more weeks of work just to pinpoint him again. He was clever enough to have doped nearly our entire team, misleading our backup officers to follow a false trail to Omsk airport while he made his getaway through the Irtysh River. Ivan and I were the only ones who uncovered his real plots. 

After maneuvering the boat in the position I wanted, I gestured for Ivan to take the controls. "Hold her steady," I yelled over the screaming of the high velocity winds. "I'll try to board." 

He grabbed the wheel and I moved over to the edge of the boat. I carefully stepped onto the side ledge. With my knees bent and ready, I gauged the distance between the two boats with my eyes, and calculated the force of jump needed with my mind. 

Just when I was ready to take a leap, the body of the other craft swerved violent and swung its end to strike the side of our boat forcefully. I lost my balance when the boat lurched under my feet and I was flung off, first into the air then into the river. 

The icy-cold water shocked me. For a moment, time stood still as I tried to find which way was up. Finally I swam up and broke through the surface, taking in big gulps of air while a halo of water droplets splashed up around me. 

I blinked the water from my eyes in time to see the bigger craft roar off into the distance. Our own motorboat had been tipped over and toppled from the collision it received. Vitriol got his escape, and all we could do was watch. 

I let myself bob up and down along with the river current for the moment and just stared. My sopping wet hair sagged wistfully into my eyes. 

They'll make me follow him. 

We know he's heading back to the U.S. In fact, from what we've seen of his plans we're quite certain he's heading back to Del Oro. 

They'll make me follow him back to Del Oro and right back to everything I had just ran from. Yes, Vitriol got his escape. In doing so, he stole my own escape for himself. 

They'll make me go back to Max. 

I wanted to curse them, one and all. I wanted to dive back under the waters and not come up. 

But like always, I suppressed these feelings. They are unprofessional and amateurish. Rachel Leeds can be none of those things. If there is something to be done, she will do it to the best of her abilities, even if it was at the expense of her own heart. 

Sometimes I grow tired of being me, of being this Rachel Leeds. But my persona has become a shell that I can't break out of. My reputation is the perfectly, stoically, calm surface of a lake that I'm afraid to disturb. I am nothing else if not absolutely professional and trained. And if I were not professional, would that not mean that I was nothing? 

I stifled a sigh. Rachel Leeds does not waste her energy on despair and dismay. 

I began my swim over to the overturned motorboat. If the radio is still working, we may be able to call N-Tek headquarters for a lift. If not, I suppose Ivan and I will have to swim some 300 yards to reach the nearest river bank. 

Why is nothing ever easy on days like these? 

----------------------------- 

Note: I'm pretty certain the Russian vocabulary is right, though I can't vouch for the grammar or the phonetic spelling that I had to translate it into.

tishina vniz - calm down  
saditysya – sit down  
udiraty – getting away 


	6. Ch. 6

I guess this took me a while to update. Is anyone still reading? I've been waiting for some great spark of inspiration to hit me but it didn't quite happen, so this chapter's not too great. Still trying to find my muse.  
  
  
Ch. 6  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Max Steel or affiliated characters. I'm just writing the story.  
  
***Max***  
  
"Hey!"  
  
He interrupted my shout with a foot to my face. My head started swimming, blending the whirring noise of the plane engine with the thick pain in my skull. If I could have been able to talk I would have told him, "I'll cut off your foot this time."  
  
Psycho gloated over me, and balled up his newly replaced metal hand into a hard fist. "Steel, are you going to give me the Crystalline Power Core? Or are you going to give me an excuse to muss up that pretty boy face of yours?"  
  
Grabbing me by my uniform collar, he lifted me clean off the floor in one motion. "I won't ask again Steel. Where's the power core? I know it's on this plane somewhere."  
  
"Berto," I yelled and prayed that he would hear me over the Bio-link.  
  
Then a black leather clad hand touched my face from behind and a laugh tumbled into the air. Realization of Dragonelle's presence alarmed me.  
  
"Don't bother calling for Dr. Martinez," she stepped around to make sure that I would see her gloat. "We have already apprehended him and Mr. Marshak from the cockpit. The Behemoth crew has fallen, and the plane is ours."  
  
"Out of hope and out of transphasik energy," Psycho raised me closer to his face and growled with I didn't answer. "Fine then."  
  
He hauled me over to one of the side hatch doors. With one kick he dislodged the door and we faced the endless blue of the sky outside. At that moment it felt like everything in the room was being sucked out that tiny door. Objects that I didn't even have time to identify flew past me and floated out into freefall. Psycho, his hand still fisted in my uniform collar, thrust me outside and dangled me in mid-air.  
  
I thought the only thing I could think at that moment, "What would Batman do? What would Batman do? What would..."  
  
Psycho released his grip.  
  
Batman can't fly. So I fell.  
  
***Kat***  
  
Working for N-Tek means a lot of high adrenaline, high stress, high risk, high stakes missions. And that's the way I liked things. This particular trip, however, was supposed to be none of the above. Perhaps that was why we were so ill prepared and how they caught us completely off guard.  
  
It was a simple run to D.C. to drop off the power core. But halfway through the flight, a jolt went through the giant jet, and the alarms registered intruders on the Behemoth.  
  
Then the adrenaline kicked in and my instincts took over.  
  
I remember zipping the power core into my backpack. I remember running through the corridors of the plane. I remember seeing Max dangle out of the plane from Psycho's clutch.  
  
I remember him falling.  
  
I don't remember running, shoving past Dragonelle and Psycho. I don't remember diving out of the plane after Max. I don't remember grabbing him in mid air and in free fall. I don't remember shooting off a grappling hook from my wrist crossbow. I don't remember the grappling hook lodging itself onto the underbelly of the Behemoth to anchor us from the fall.  
  
By the time I fully regained my senses, Max was hanging onto me, I was hanging on to the grappling hook cable, and the cable was affixed onto the soaring jet above.  
  
The words, "Now what?" occurred to me. But I could barely hear my own thoughts over the dull roar of the jet engine and sharp whir of the stinging winds.  
  
The Behemoth runs on 4 engines during flight. Each engine is capable of 5,000 pounds of propulsion. At peak performance the plane can go up to 600 miles per hour. And trust me, when you're being dragged behind it by a thin little cable wire you feel every pound of propulsion, every mile per hour then some.  
  
Suddenly the flash of a laser blast whizzed by my head.  
  
"Shooting. Behind us," Max yelled through the ambient noise of the screaming winds.  
  
I crane my neck around for an uncomfortable glance back. There was a small fighter plane behind us alright, and it was still firing. I squinted at the pilot in the cockpit.  
  
"Vitriol? Oh no, that's Vitriol!"  
  
Another volley of laser blasts came our way as we tried to climb up the cable.  
  
Need to go faster... faster... before...  
  
Finally one of the laser strikes severed the dangling cable. In one silent rip, our lifeline to the plane snapped.  
  
For whatever reason I was still hanging onto to the detached piece of rope for dear life. We were falling and I was still hanging on to it.  
  
We fell...  
  
But suddenly we hit something.  
  
My body jarred against a metal surface, and my mind reeled in surprise at hitting solid matter sooner than I expected.  
  
I clawed out my hands to hang onto the small jet's surface. And when I looked down at the exterior of the plane I saw a welcomed sight. This was a different one.  
  
I saw the N-Tek painted logo. It was one of our own.  
  
I leaned closer to peer at the face in the cockpit. Then I couldn't help but smile.  
  
***Rachel***  
  
Right place at the right time.  
  
One in a thousand chance that I could have uncovered Vitriol's trail two days ago. One in a thousand chance that the weather conditions in California could have forced him into the city where we were searching. One in a thousand chance that Ivan could have spotted Vitriol's stealth plane that never registered on radar.  
  
It all works out to some infinitesimally small probability that I could have been able to chase Vitriol to the Behemoth. So I didn't expect to meet up with Team Steel that day, much less save Max and Kat when they fell.  
  
I've never liked to attribute success to mere luck, but today I feel like I've cheated the universe and come out on top. As I look at my two ex-teammates clinging to the bill of the jet outside, I shudder to think what would have happened if I had missed that run-in with Lady Luck.  
  
Kat waved as she recognized me. I gave her a thumbs-up in response. As for Max, he looked pale and meager. Whatever happened in the Behemoth must have caused him to use up all his Transphasik energy. He still gave his boyish smile. From the look in his eyes I could see he was glad, but he was also afraid. Not of the danger. Not of the mind-boggling height. Not of how close he was to death.  
  
The prospect of death has never scared him.  
  
I scare him. Not knowing how to handle me scares him.  
  
Then Kat got my attention by tapping on the cockpit panel. She pointed upwards at the Behemoth. I nodded to indicate that I understood.  
  
Going up. And going to retake the Behemoth.  
  
***Kat***  
  
There's something about Rachel that's pretty amazing. I realized it finally. Maybe it's her courage. Maybe it's her determination. Whatever it is, I realized that I missed her when she left for Russia.  
  
I'm not one for sentimental garbage so I'll sum it by saying this. No matter where she chooses to go she is still linked with Team Steel in some way or form. And sometimes the universe will orchestrate events like those of today to bring her back to us.  
  
It's good to know she's always there for us. Even at the most unexpected of unexpected times. She's there to catch us against all odds.  
  
What would we ever do without you, Rach? 


	7. Interlude You're a God

**

Questions - Interlude - "You're a God"

**

* * *

***Max***  
She came back today. Unexpected and out of the blue. Out of the blue sky actually.

It's true, we had unresolved issues. We had a complicated history. But I didn't expect the negatives to resurface right away. 

I was cautious when I stepped into her office. The last time I confronted her in here was six months ago and afterward she just took off. Just like that. Now she's back in Del Oro, and I don't know for now long. 

"Nice flying up there today, Rach." 

She didn't look up, but just settled into her old desk chair. "Wasn't nice enough apparently." 

"Look, if you're talking about Psycho and Vitriol, we'll get them next time." I took another step into the office. "At least we got the Power Core back." 

Rachel didn't seem convinced. She looked up like she was going to say something, then quickly looked away. 

"And we have Dragonelle in custody." 

Still, she said nothing. 

The battle's over for now. Or is it? I felt my body tense up, and I had to fight to keep the corners of my mouth from settling into a frown. 

I should leave. Leave before I do or say something I regret. But the rest of my body doesn't obey my mind's logic. 

I should leave. Before... I catch sight of it, the gaping hole in the wall next to her now empty bookshelves. A still living reminder of how I had lost my temper arguing with her the last time we saw each other. Yeah, I should leave before I do that again. Before she gives me a reason to inflict more damage on N'Tek facilities or on our already shaky relationship. 

But both of us just stay where we were. Fighting the silent battle between us. Pretending that business was the only thing on our minds. Masking the hurt. Lying with our eyes. 

_I've gotta be honest.  
I think you know.  
We're covered in lies and that's okay._

Yes, we try to lie to each other, and to ourselves. But the truth was... We both knew what the truth was. What happened before had hurt us both. The feelings. The circumstances. The things that we had wanted of each other and ourselves. Now we were trying to cover it up with work. Business as usual. Bad guys dealt with, now run along.

_There's somewhere beyond this... I know.  
But I hope I can find the words to say...  
Never again. No. Never again_

Maybe that's why it never worked about between us. Our pride. We just both wanted to be the stronger one in the relationship. Our competitive nature from work transferred disastrously into romance. In the end, I think she won the power struggle.

_'Cause you're a god and I am not   
and I just thought that you would know._

Rachel, you're always right. Is that what you wanted to hear? You're right and I'm wrong. No matter the issue you're right. You're my N-Tek superior. All I am is a lowly field agent. You're higher, and I'm lower. You're better and I'm just bitter. 

But you probably already knew that, Miss Leeds. 

***Rachel***  
He was so quiet just across the room. I wanted to ask him if he was alright after the scrimmage this morning. But who am I kidding? He's always alright. He's N-Tek's super weapon. 

_'Cause you're a god and I am not  
and I just thought I'd let you go._

All hail the mighty N-Tek wonder boy! You're stronger, faster... better? You want others to think that too right? You're superhuman. 

_But I've been unable to put you down.  
Still learning things I oughta know by now._

I am only human. More vulnerable physically. I'm more vulnerable emotionally too, but I don't let you know that. I will hide my weakness. 

_It's under the table, and so  
I need something more to show somehow._

I will make you see my strength, whether it's real or not. I will show you that you can't hurt me. I will not fall into your trap again. I will not let myself care about you anymore. 

_Never again. No. No never again..._

It worked too well. I distanced myself too much. To Siberia, in fact. I didn't mean to go that far, but by the time I realized... it was too late.

_'Cause you're a god and I am not and I just thought that you would know.  
'Cause you're a god and I am not and I just thought I'd let you go._

I pushed you away. I let you go. 

But it's okay. I can handle the hurt as long as I know others can't see it. You will never see me vulnerable again, Max Steel. Never again. 

* * *

Wow, it took me long time to crank this out. Special thanks to everyone who's still reading. I got two review alerts recently which helped remind me that this story's not dead yet and I should get my butt moving to finish it.

I guess this is a psuedo songfic. I heart Vertical Horizon. (Their new album "Go" is coming out after New Years. Spread the word and the joy.) Anyway, my view of why a Rachel/Max relationship seems doomed. This marks the end of the "Questions" series. The partner series to it will complete it and will be called "Answers." So chapter 1 of Answer will pick up right after the last part of Questions. Mad love goes out to those who are still with me! 


End file.
